Look I get it, most people don’t want to look at an eyesore if they are trying to fully experience anything. I understand that because surely, I will look at “aesthetics” before I decide how I want to consume whatever it is in that moment. However, I found that I was getting away from the content that I desire to produce, to chase the things that I think people wanted to see or experience. I had to take a pause from all of this because a lot has changed.
When I started this blog about 4 years ago, I had a different angle and purpose. I wanted to inspire, to educate and to hopefully help others out and began to aspire to be on the level of Scary Mommy.
Scary Mommy is a website that produces content targeting mothers, which generally focuses on parenting, motherhood, current events and pop culture.
While I still hope someone finds some inspiration, I just want this place to be an outlet, as it already has been, no other angle. When I started to chase “trying” to be more than what I set out to, I was losing my authenticity. Outside of my original Blog Website formerly known as This Mamas Journey, I started online stores, began delving into drop shipping, amazon affiliates, the list goes on. I wanted this site to be my hustle. Some fun things also came from this wannabe net famous era, like starting a virtual book club that really brought some great people together. I miss that book club…but time these days is just not on my side! Aside from the book club, those other endeavors weren’t things I was passionate about. I just thought I had to do them because well, isn’t that what bloggers and internet creators do?
To continue to share my life as I used to once upon a time on Facebook or Myspace and my deep inner thoughts, that is how I see this blog maintaining its identity.
I don’t have all the answers and I figure them out as I go along. Life is my teacher. I am no expert in any one place, kind of like a jack of all trades and master of none. This blog was called This Mamas Journey for that reason. However, I have changed it to Emerald Blogs, which is simply be a place where I can write any and everything that I feel like writing or sharing. My own little corner of the internet. Not a place where I try to make a buck or monetize or fulfill some other purpose, like perhaps that high school popularity I missed out on? *Kanye Shrug* Yeah, even my religious journey took a completely different turn. It’s pretty interesting to look back at some of my previous blogs to see how caught up I was…
My life as it is and how I choose to share it will have whatever outcome it is meant to have. This won’t be achieved by trying to keep up with the “internet Joneses”. Most every blog I come across is overwhelmed with marketing, affiliates, programs, and really, it’s become a way for folks to make money, I get it! For those that do that, do you. I was trying to get like you, and it was no longer fun for me. Now that doesn’t take away from the content that a lot of these people have at all. The internet is so resourceful. However, when you are doing any type of hobby or expressing your gift and art in a certain way, you have to consider your why. I am just now coming around to the reality that; I really just like to share and write. Yeah, I also like to make money, but that is what my day job and career is for.
I wanted to be that blogger, that had this website that was just all beige, cool and hip the way that many popular YouTubers and other bloggers or social media influencers are, but it made me just stop. I stopped sharing things that were important, interesting or inspiring to me, that I wanted to share just because. While imagining what it would be like to live up to the current standard of internet fame, I lost my ability to just do what I do and have fun with it. I started down that path, almost investing in expensive hardware to get the right pictures and videos in the right lighting etc…so it could be “aesthetic“, even if it meant I was hauling around a big ole camera in addition to my diaper bag and little kiddos. I found that if I was going to pursue that type of blogging, I would have to chase that “aesthetic” and keep up with trends to stay relevant. Constantly getting feedback from others on how I should “art“. Honestly, you don’t need to be anything but you to have a footprint on the web.
As I was pursuing this “aesthetic” thing, I was amazed at the hoops I would have to jump through. I am here, and my existence alone is relevant, but advert companies would have me believing otherwise. These companies or people who pay influencers to do anything flat out say they need the site to be a certain kind of appealing and you to be a certain kind of appealing…so those pics that are very spontaneous and real that you might want to share on your blog, might not be worthy of them affiliating with you. I personally think we are drowning in influencers. I want to inspire, not influence. It’s gotten to a point where you can’t go anywhere or engage genuinely with anyone on the internet without them trying to gain a following, some notoriety or some money, or some”thing”. I wanted my blog to be that place, but then it became a job and felt, just not really, me.
This blog is a hobby, a fun place, a place I get to share the things that are going on in my life and through my mind. By ensuring I keep this place a hobby blog, I can guarantee you as my reader, a few things.
- What I talk about is genuinely, my experience
- Products or services I talk about are, my real experience
- I have nothing to gain here
- No one is paying me to talk about anything here
That list can go on, but ultimately, my life as ever flowing and layered as it is, is an adventure and I can’t wait to keep sharing the many parts of my world on, Emerald Blogs.