We all have something that someone else thinks they want or have been in a situation where we’ve looked at another and wished for something they had. While it might be accurate that its nice to have, you never know what they sacrificed for said desirable ”asset” or in general if what you are seeing is real or an illusion. The surface level appearance of, well, just about anything on another person can seem desirable. However you will put yourself in a crazy loop if you ”wish” for what they have. It is always beautiful to acknowledge another’s success, kind to point out desirable traits, features and “things” they’ve acquired or have. There is however some level of mindfulness that needs to go into that “wishing”.
We all know someone whose mindset is that of wishing for what someone else has, or we have been there ourselves. Generally speaking, we can quickly tell by tone, body language and others factors if they are doing so from a lack or scarcity mindset. In some instances you might come across a cute outfit, or dope plant (shoutout my highschool friend Kim for putting me on to Croomstead!) But seriously, this is cute! She had this Eucalyptus Bouqet in her shower and I’m a fan of all things aromatherapy, and nature. Especially if it can feel like I’m showering in the Amazon! So I snatched one for myself!
(photo cred: Croomstead.com Eucalyptus Shower Bundle)
I digress! There is nothing wrong with being encouraged or inspired by what someone else has and realizing you can benefit from that too. Mindset matters and is how you set yourself up for misery, especially if you are constantly comparing and wishing for someone else’s perceived or actual joy. The first reason you shouldn’t look at another and “wish” for what they have is…
You Don’t Know the Sacrifices They Made
Some folks have had things handed to them, others have worked hard for it and some have given up comforts or major priorities to their detriment. Without knowing the detail, you don’t really know how that person might feel present day with whatever it is that your are wishing for. What comes to mind might be a close friend with a seemingly put together nuclear family. Should you utter those words “I wish I had a relationship like that” three things can happen. You might encourage them, you might hit a nerve where they just wish you knew all that glitters aint gold, or they simply thank you. A better compliment might be, “it looks like what you have is a beautiful thing” vs. “I wish I had a marriage, kids and family like that”. Which do you think is best for your confidence and mindset if you suffer from a scarcity mindset?
The second reason you should “mind your wishes”…
You Are Unique
Whats for you will never be for anyone else. That to me is the beauty of Divine Alignment. Should you seek to obtain what another person has on a timeline that is not unique to you, with resources you don’t have, you don’t allow yourself the space to attract what is for you and the timeframe that is just right. If you’re overwhelmed picking up pieces of everyones shine because they look good on them, you’ll become a cluttered mess with no identity. The things people have, the resources they used to attain them and the timeline for which it has entered their life is all very unique to each person…including you.
It is beautiful for us to show support, to want something for ourselves and be motivated by another to obtain it. However, wishing for what someone else has is an incredibly negative attitude that will only harm your self esteem and/or confidence. What will better serve you is to get clear on what will work for you. What about what that person has, do you want? You have to drill down because often times it’s not the thing, but what that thing or situation stands for. When you attach personal meaning or emotion to someone else’s gift or moment of joy you have to understand it’s taking away from that persons blessing with the eyes of your envy. Not in the literal sense, but a spiritual karmic sense.
Get comfortable complimenting from a genuine place, acknowledging someone’s blessings without undermining your own. Then you can begin to ask yourself the questions you need to get clear on if it’s something they have that you want, why do you want it and what would it personally mean to you. Learn to be encouraged and motivated by others, but you should understand at a certain point in life you need to get to work to make your own luck and realize that nobody is your genie.
Thats between you and God. So how will you work for what you wish? How will you create your own magic that is uniquely designed for you?
